I realized that loving myself is really difficult. It is not the extreme manner of me hating myself to the point that I want to smack my face every time I look into the mirror. It is the little things in life, like getting annoyed with the way I respond to an incident, or wishing that I could be better, although they may not be bad things at all.
On the other hand, loving myself also does not mean I go splurging and indulging. It does not mean mere enjoyment and taking a long vacation, although honestly I think that it will be a great excuse to get out of life's responsibilities.
I wonder if loving myself means bringing my whole self to an equilibrium, to the center of balance, or to God. It is like not doing too much or too little of something, or to take care yet work this self, to forgive yet remind the self, to constantly get up after every fall and learn to become wiser at every step along the way.
It is difficult to love this self. But love and forgiveness walk hand in hand. I think that only when I keep forgiving myself again and again, multiple times in a day, that I may learn the unmasterable skill of loving myself.