The next one year of my life is set, not by choice, but it at least gave me a direction to go.
I have been working at an HIV clinic for the past 3 months, believing that my parents understood and granted me their permission to work there. A couple of days ago while talking to my Dad on Skype, he just understood what I meant. All along, he thought it was a field trip, a one time deal that has no recurrent contact with the clinic. Finding out that I am working there, he ordered me to quit, no question asked; either I quit, or he would talk to the school. Then, he told me to go home right after I am done with school in August.
I wonder, at times, if this is what God has been trying to tell me, "Go home!", or if this whole thing has been a test to see my perseverance in this whole matter. I do have to say, though, that regardless what, I am a little relieved to know where I am going, though it is not my choice. Some certainty is always less stressful that none.
With that said, I guess I am quitting my pursuit of a doctorate degree for now. I do still want it, but perhaps some time in the future when the time is right. At this point in time, I feel anxious (to tell my supervisor and school), relieved (to know what's next), and sad (to let go of my doctorate degree). I think I have to settle with these emotions for a little longer.