Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Birthday 2010

My birthday came and went. Sometimes I wonder, what's the significance of celebrating another year that reminds you that you are a year closer to your death bed? Sure, I am thankful for being alive for another year, but every year when I look back, something feels... empty. Fulfilling but empty. It's the feeling of, okay, it's been an enjoyable year, but so what?

On a happier note, I received a tangible present from my brother (2nd birthday present he has ever given me, the first being a burnt CD with cool songs compiled), and it moved me to tears. That was probably a surprise I did not expect. Mind you, my family is really bad with surprises and presents. I buy my own present every year, directly or indirectly. So when things like that happen, it's not surprising that I am moved.

Surprises still move me, because I am not easily surprised, in a sense that my imagination and expectations are pretty difficult to beat. So when something surprised me, you know it's pretty good for the standard of the context of the surprise.

My birthday was another quiet one, and I like it that way. After all, birthdays are YOUR day. I like to spend my birthday with myself. Surprises can wait the day after, or it can happen the day before.

On new year's eve, my family and I went up to our rooftop to watch the firework display. It was an amazing sight, looking over Jakarta's horizon in the dark, with fireworks lighting up the sky. Everyone was celebrating the upcoming year with much zeal and gun powder. It was a great start to a birthday, for sure.

I look forward to the new year ahead. It will be a good, enjoyable year, just as they all have been. I do hope, however, when I look back to the year 2010, it won't feel empty. I hope that your year won't feel empty as well, as satisfying and fulfilling as it may get.

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