Monday, December 14, 2009

Lonely Move

I'm preparing to say goodbye to my old apartment, the first lair that kept me away from Hollywood insanity.

This is the loneliest move I've ever had. It was supposed to be fun, or at least it had always been fun in the past. The company, the laughter, the fellowship... Physically tired yet fulfilling. It's always a blessing to work towards something together to make a life of a brother or a sister in Christ easier. I mean, what's the meaning behind donating money to Africa when a neighbor needs help and you can't offer your help?

It is yet another lesson to learn. I think I adapt to a place pretty quick when it comes to food, physical situations, etc. because I can be by myself and enjoy random things pretty much. I don't even think that difference in values concern me as much. But it gets hard when the values are different and I have such high expectations on people to be what I thought they would be. Well, a fault on my part for that assumption. But still, being an idealist is a bummer at times.

I think rather than depending on money, I still want to depend on people's kindness. It makes me more humble and aware of people's generous hearts on a daily basis. I think it will be hard here, when money is so widely available for everyone. But I don't think I want to give up yet. I still have hope that people will be more communal here. I want to somehow slowly eradicate self-absorption and self-sufficiency through money.

Regardless, I give thanks to those who've taken their time to help and do the labor work. It's greatly appreciated, I feel loved.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

日本の夏の思い出

今は思い出になったんだけども、ずっと心の中にいるんだ。日本のみんな、日本の思い出。

強い太陽の下に授業に歩いていって、途中は蝉の音を聞いてしまって、授業後は遊んでばかりで、おいしいラーメン,お好み焼きなどのいい和食を食べてばかり、あつすぎて汗がいっぱいで文句ばかりして、月が出るまでみんなと一緒で、最後の電車を乗ってかえった。時々野球ゲームを見に行った。それは私の毎日だった。みんなと馬鹿なことばかりした。

空は広い。私が知ってる世界の外はまた新しい世界がある。毎日はその感じだった。日本の文化や、価値観や、思い方や、言語など、全部精一杯習おうと思った。日本人になるようにしてた。あのときは成長過程か、心の期待か、毎日も自分の理想的な生活を過ごした。

夏がきた、夏が終わった。秋がきた,秋が終わった。どんどん寒くなってきた。一瞬間、春が来る。そして、夏がまた始まる。あ、過去はいつも現在より美しい。でもあの美しい分断はもう終わってしまった。

今は前を向かって、勇ましく未来に歩こう。しかしやっぱり、昔からずっと変わらなく、私の心は日本に残っていた。

Monday, December 7, 2009

Because He First Loved Us

So often we hear this:

"We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19, New International Version).

I have a thought. What if, we don't love because He first loved us? No, it's not a heretical attempt, it's a simple suggestion to an alternative explanation to the verse; because He has loved us, and yet some of us still don't love Him. What if, because He first loved us, we don't - but can - love?

What if, we can love because He first loved us? His love enables us to love, such that we love not only because we are loved first, but because we want His love. And such that we can operate under His love.

Just a thought.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Blind Side

It was a great movie! Watch it, people! It went up to #2 on my Top Movies list, and please discount the fact that I'm not a big movie fan, so there are many movies I have never watched.

The movie made me think about the brokenness of the world. People are so guarded because we know our own potential for doing evil. Our motivations can be thwarted and we can't believe others because we can't even trust ourselves. Thus, when we do good, the world will question our motivation behind the act. After all, why would or should someone give to another, without any expectation of receiving something back?

I'm sure that we all receive something when we give (even altruism feeds our own ego and need or desire to protect and help others); it's the fallen nature of human beings, animals, and the rest of the world that we brought down with us when we fell to sin.

So let's try to minimize this pleasure, benefit, or gain, while maximizing the sacrifice on our part by giving without the expectation of repayment. In fact, let's expect resistance, revenge, or bad things happening to us because we do good to them. I think that may be the closest thing we can do to learn from Jesus' example.