Tuesday, November 15, 2011


"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate event."

- Louis de Bernieres

Sunday, October 23, 2011


My devotion today is about worship, waiting, and working, and how these three are meant to happen together, not separately. This is from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. We are not to jump from worship, waiting, and then to working, but to worship while waiting, to worship while working, and wait while worshiping and working, etc.

My thoughts today:

It is important to keep a worshipful heart every moment even when we are not physically sitting down and in a praying position. Worshiping needs to become a kind of lifestyle, in which whatever we do, we worship, through joy and sorrow. Not to say that it is to deny the sadness that life can bring us, but in the sadness to still worship and declare God as being sovereign and in control of the situation.

It is, however, also important to set apart time to worship in the midst of busy-ness and the noises that the world brings to us. This will quieten our heart and mind, so before we start our day, we have reminded ourselves that our focus for the next 24 hours will be on worshiping God through whatever is in front of us.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Power of Music

I have always known that music is a great power that moves both the spirit and soul in unimaginable ways. And music moves us in both directions, to make us do and think of the good things, or to make us do and think of the bad things. For example, music can make us feel angry, sad, happy, calm, worshipful, grateful, etc., and it can heal us as well.

Today it hits me why music can be used for negative things, and probably a mean to reach out to kill people's emotions and feelings, or at least mess them up.

Think about this: Lucifer used to be the music master in the heaven! He created awesome music that filled the heavens. Yet he became prideful and wanted the glory for himself, so he was banished and sent away. Now that he is the father of devils, of course his greatest tool is still music! He uses music these days to confuse the youth, to bring negative emotions in people, and to stir up feelings that will hurt and destroy one another.

We must be aware of the music that we are listening to. After all, music touches the deepest parts of our souls, and moves the spirit in amazing ways. Let's all use music to glorify God!

Monday, September 26, 2011

My Theory on Spirituality of Gender

I suddenly had this thought while showering. Try to link these pieces of information together:

1. Woman was created after Man
2. Devil tempted Woman, not Man
3. Amongst most of my friends, there are more devote female Christians than male ones

This is the conclusion that I arrived, but please don't quote me for any debatable issue. This is merely an interesting picture that I see in one evening in less than one minute of thinking.

1. Woman was created after Man
- As days go by, God created more complex creatures that become more similar in His image
- This means that Woman might have been more spiritually inclined, or has one key that leads her thoughts, attitudes, desires, or whatever it is, to connect to God even more easily

2. Devil tempted Woman, not Man
- There must be a reason why Devil chose Woman, not Man
- Perhaps it is Woman's understanding and sensitivity towards spiritual things or about God in general, thus making it easier for Woman to fall; almost like how if someone has tasted honey, s/he will want another taste
- So maybe Woman heard from the Devil and understood; might not have the same outcome if Devil had come to Man
- Similarly, if you want to make someone fall, you tend to trip someone of the highest "status", because the fall will be greater; in this case, it's Woman's spirituality that the Devil wants to taint, perhaps because Devil understood the danger of Woman's capabilities

3. Amongst most of my friends, there are more devote female Christians than male ones
- This is a personal experience, I have not looked into the literature to see if there is any scientific basis to the ratio difference, etc., or if this claim is even supported

But think about this!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Came to Practice

I feel like a true psychologist now that I am in Jakarta living under the same roof as my family.

I feel upset with how things are and though I may have the answers, I can't change them. I feel upset living amongst the dysfunctions of those around me while I try to keep myself a step away so I can stay level-headed without getting dragged into the mess. I make sure my third eye is constantly awake so I know what is actually going on, rather than just reading the current happenings. I practice patience when I point out certain parts that can be improved yet these people practice avoidance by changing topics.

There are times I feel hurt, unheard, and tired. Yet I try to remain professional so I don't get affected while doing other tasks in life that need to be done. It is difficult, because after all, it is my own family that I'm talking about here, so the dysfunctions affect my lifestyle, and it occurs every moment of everyday. It is unlike dealing with a single patient one hour once a week. It is more like working with a patient almost 18 hours everyday. After a while, I learn to make sure I have enough private time to recuperate from the constant dysfunctions. I learn to pray even more.

What I learned in school, ironically, came to the greatest use when I get back home. This will help me get through life here.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Creepy Generation

I finally live with a TV after a very long period of time. These days, I turn on my TV for music, since I haven't bought any music player at home (my room is pretty empty since I have not lived here for a very long time).

Yesterday, the songs I heard on KIIS FM in LA was showing on TV. Excited for some bits of good LA memory, I went to sit in front of the TV. The first was Britney Spears' "I Wanna Go", which I found rather vulgar and weird - totally one of the humans-turning-into-robots kind of era. I mean, I watched Terminator before, which is very futuristic as well, but it wasn't even the least bit of Britney Spears' kind of weird. And of course, I haven't closely watched her ever since her debut, so I was surprised when her face looked like it had gone under the knife.

Then, Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" came up. That was even weirder. It was so creepy that I had to turn it off half way. May I even say that it's rather satanic? I wasn't sure if it was me that was uncomfortable with those kind of creepiness, or if I'd been too far removed from the media industry that I no longer see the norm.

I wonder if this generation is turning creepy like that? Or is this an argument of acceptance in the midst of all these creepy things going on?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


I am not a victim of any traumatic events, like domestic violence, molestation, murders, or even thefts and robbery. Sure, I have seen these experiences through my past clients, but I have only experienced the more "minor" ugly side of humanity, like betrayals, destructive gossip, and things of a more "minor" damage in one's life, or at least that's what I think.

Yet, I can't help thinking how a part of me hates humanity and its ugliness, while a part of me still keeps the hope that we can be much better than this. This hatred is amplified when I'm back in Jakarta, when everyone works in such an inexplicable way through bribery and things of the such, where one's life can be bought with money.

But thinking of how I've never been a "true" victim of humanity's ugliness in a sense that I've never been traumatized to an extent that a lot of people have been, makes me feel ashamed of this hatred in me. It makes me realize that Jesus, who was in the situation where He had the right to hate all humanity, was able to choose to love humanity... And that's beautiful, though extremely difficult to do. And I know how difficult it is because I have yet to reach that kind of situation before my desire to refuse loving humanity surfaced. And ironically, these are the thoughts coming out even after doing self-reflection of the ugly things I've done to others as well.

I wonder, how then, will I be able to have that kind of heart, to continue loving and believing even all the bullets are shot at me, especially when I know I can hate that part of humanity, and my love is limited?